We got DSTV for a month, which happens about twice or three times a year.
The favored shows are the cooking shows ( among the kids...its not my influence, in fact I DONT like watching them too much, reminds me of work) and then the Amazing Race.
This past week we have had ALOT of fun and good ideas for those tv shows to be set in Zambia. Today, we bring you Cutthroat kitchen - Third World Edition!
-20 minutes before your meal is done they shut off the electricity.
Now try to make your meal!
-10 minutes later there’s a knock on your door and visitors have just dropped by.
Now you need to accommodate your meal to feed 5 extra people!
-For the dessert course you decide on simple no bake cookies that can be made on a gas stovetop, by candle light if need be. You pour out your flour into your measurement and find that worms are covered in your flour. You sift them out and go to get the sugar only to find that a rat has been gnawing on the sack and has gotten into the sugar.
-You have enough time to run to the grocery store to pick up more sugar but you realize that they in fact don’t have any sugar in stock. ANY SUGAR. Do you get that? The store doesn’t have sugar...In fact the next 3 grocery stores that you run in to look for, don’t have any.
-You head back to the cut throat kitchen in a hurry, you are prepared to start fresh on a new recipe. But in the time that it took you to run to the grocery store, the rats have in fact come into your kitchen and left their droppings all over the very counter that you are about to cook on. You reach for the bleach and cleaning supplies, scrub hard and go to wash your hands at the sink, so you can get back to cooking. It is then that you realize there is no water. Not just low pressure, but NO WATER. The judges were kind enough to reserve some in buckets in the store room and “surprise you” with that token gift. You pull your buckets out to your kitchen splashing water along the way and hurriedly wash your hands.
-You change your recipe yet again and go to get the UNopened pasteurized 2 liter of milk that is well within it’s expiration date. In fact you bought it yesterday so it most definitely still should be fresh. You pour out lumps into your bowl. It is spoiled.
You remember the boxed milk in the back corner on the shelf, because in a pinch it can still work well and the taste in the recipe will be indistinguishable. So you open the LONG LIFE milk in a box. That too is spoiled. You then decide to chuck it all out the window, feed the dogs and start over.
The recipe you decide on? Sour milk/ buttermilk pancakes...
Throw some chocolate chips in it, and it will feed a crowd. Top with honey since there is no sugar to make your homemade maple flavored syrup.
Serve it to the judges and smile.
Que the somewhat emotional yet triumphant music...
The cut throat kitchen session ends.
The crowd cheers and applauds you.
The judges are inspired by your ability to change your plan under pressure.You responded so quickly with the worms and the rats. The ingredients were stacked against you. The electricity went out and there was no water. But you didn’t quit. You didn’t give up. So, You win. Not because your pancakes were that awesome. But really, who doesn’t love chocolate chip pancakes?!
But you won because you endured.
You are standing tall with a smile on your face. The judges tell you to look around and see your competitors. You see the man bowed out at the first loss of electricity. He couldn’t even function. And the woman? Do you even think she got past the unexpected visitors and the rats? Not a chance.
Your prize for winning?
Nothing. A pat on the back. "Good for you. Number 1"
See, you would have gotten a big hefty check but when the money was wired into the zambian account, the kwacha fell and it wasn't worth much. Still, it would have been something to put in your pocket but someone else saw the opportunity to put it in their pocket and by the time the judges transportation costs and their lunch money were taken out, there was nothing left for you.
"Welcome to the third world"
:)
