Coffee

I have lots of thoughts running through my head tonight, posts for my blog. Perfectionism, failures, challenges with adoption, working, family ideals and coffee.

So, I will start with coffee. 

I don’t drink coffee. I have never wanted to start drinking coffee. Though I like the smell, I have never liked the taste. I am not really amused by the snobbery that seems to associate itself with coffee and its drinkers. I will admit I am a peanut butter snob. But of course peanut butter snobbery isn’t the same as coffee snobbery. Or refinement I should say. Both James and I were so much “not into coffee” that when my mom came to visit us for years she would bring along her own little coffee pot. Eventually we bought one to have for guests, or more likely she bought one for us to have and so then at least we started serving coffee to our guests, though we never drank any.  

I even laughed when my dear friend that came with us on our first trip to Zambia talked about getting “off” coffee to prepare for the trip and the effects that had. 

(Sorry I laughed at you)

But a few years ago James started drinking coffee, I’m not too sure why, maybe the stress of living in Africa drove him to pick it up (Kind of like I never drank anything until we moved to Africa...) Or maybe it was to have that afternoon pick me up since we were worn out all the time...But he started liking it and reading up on coffee and its history and would tell me interesting facts about it and welcomed me to join in this coffee “game.” 

Still not interested. 

So then I start working at a cafe. And not just a cafe but a coffee shop / cafe. 

Home to the Zambian National Barista Champion 2 years in a row. 

And I still wasn’t too interested. 

And still very clueless. 

For the last few months I have taken orders for coffee, bought coffee, served coffee, watched it being made and even watched a “cupping” for a new brand of coffee, as the coffee was dissected into all its glory. The smell, the taste, the sweetness, bitterness, earthy tones, cinnamon, vanilla, grassyness... when you see people sniffing and slurping and skimming things of the top of hot water with such precision it all just seems a bit hoaky to me. But I know its me and not the coffee. I was even asked to be a judge for a preliminary barista competition which I just thought was quite funny. I had to decline because I would have thought they all tasted bad. Still clueless. 

Last week a man came in and ordered some kind of coffee, a flat white cappachino to be exact, and I didn’t know what he was saying or understand. I had to call the barista over to have him explain it to her so that I knew what to charge him.  I came home and told James about it and after a bit of laughing he said, “ok. it’s time.”  Then he got online and downloaded some kindle books about coffee. I have started reading, and he’s right, how can I manage a coffee shop and not even know coffee?

So, I have made it a priority this week to learn how to make the coffees. I think the staff gets a kick out of watching me make them and taste them. To be honest the first espresso I made that I had to try was downright disgusting. Not because I had made it wrong, she tasted after me and said it was right, but because it tasted like bitter mud. It hit my taste buds as if I had just tried a shot of liquor (and how I know that...see above) 

With the espresso I was supposed to feel a certain thing in the front of my mouth and then the back and then my throat, as it went from bitter to sweet or something like that. I don’t even know. 

But I am starting to learn. I have watched and helped and gotten some training over the last few weeks but today I decided to jump in. I made espresso, cappuccino, macchiato,  cafe latte, americano, mocha latte. And lets just say I tried them all and drank a few of them to the bottom, the ones that had a lot of milk and then I added a lot of sugar to make it work. I was about to start my way into the iced coffees ( it was a bit slow today) but we actually had run out of the espresso beans. oops! 

It’s almost 11pm now and strangely I am not feeling the least bit tired. Very odd for someone who has been going to sleep at 9 for the last few months. Hmm. 

Actually the ladies were laughing at me because they said I was going to be wired for the day. True. 

So my goal is to keep learning. And keep tasting. I have surprised myself by enjoying it. And who knows if someday I will be writing as a coffee aficionado. (Probably should first learn if I spelled the word correctly)  After all coffee does go well with cake and the host of other goodies that I am promoting. And if I have many more days of coffee tasting and testing then I will have plenty of late nights to deal with these other thoughts and writings floating around in my head. 

November

All the kids and James are home, off school and work for the next 4 weeks! 

Unfortunately I am working for 3 of those 4 weeks, but maybe we can arrange for a few coffee / smoothie days. You can walk to the cafe, so maybe the older kids can take turns for a few days walking up with the little ones. 

Since the younger kids are in Zambian schools, they have missed out on American History (obviously). The older 3 have studied it off and on for several years so their “project” to keep everyone busy at least for a few hours a week for the next few weeks is to teach the younger ones.  They are less than thrilled, but you learn also by teaching so... there they go. 

When you have a big family everyone needs to pitch in and work. During the school year, the weekdays they don’t do a whole lot of work and thats fine and good since they are in school. We have Auntie Catherine anyway who helps out in the house during the week, but on the weekends they all clean the kitchen wash dishes, etc. 

Usually, things run smoother during these breaks if they are not aimlessly wandering about the house, watching tv, pestering each other so I am trying to think of a few other things to keep them busy. Dad’s philosophy is to put them to work!  So, they each can take a turn making breakfast these next few weeks. 

November seemed to fly by. Sarah turned 16, and celebrated 3 different times. The first was with the family, the second was with a good friend of hers spending the night and the third was a party with her youth group friends. 

We had a “make your own pizza” and I was very thankful to have my big oven in addition to the small one. It was crazy, 20 some teenagers hanging out in the house eating, watching a movie but Sarah really enjoyed it. 

Emma worked at the school at the MacDonalds Farm, and C, J and G finished out the school year. A new school year starts in January for them. They had an end of the year christmas concert. Like pretty much all things related to Zambian programs we have seen since we have been here, this one was the norm. Twice as long as it should be , they did a good job, pretty cute, Zambians can sing and dance really well, but yeah this was really way too long. Every event I have this thought process. Oh thats neat. Its really cool that the kids are in an African school. Wait why do they feel the need to preach/ have a devotional at every event. Get through that part then excitement to see my kiddos on stage, Oh theres my white boy singing with his friends. Good job!...Gracie, where is she in the crown of 30 classmates...Ah there she is. She looks so cute, and likes to be up there on stage. Then more acts. Then more. Then, will this ever end. Ok yes, finally its over. But now some announcements and closing remarks and prayer. 

By the time you leave you are hauling everyone off to the car in a not so great mood.

A test of endurance!  

This month was busy with work,  We have had 2 people we let go in leadership positions due to some sketchy dealings with money. That has added some extra work as we have had less people to operate the register and oversee the shifts, so I along with the owner have split some of those shifts. I have actually enjoyed that part, though it has made it where I haven’t had time to spend on other things that need attention. In time I guess. Gotta make changes from the top down, so that literally has been happening. Feels like work was nonstop this past month so am looking forward to a few days off around christmas. 

Thanksgiving was a bit strange in that half the kids had to go to school for exams and James had to teach in the morning. I stopped by work for a few minutes and then we had the afternoon off as a family at some friends house for a group Thanksgiving dinner. It was sweet for our friends to invite us and host this big event. 

I have missed my Kabanana friends and had hoped to get out there this past month to see them. I was disappointed they could not come for the swimming party. I was told they did not have the finances in order for that. It usually just involved a lunch and transport on the buses to our house but I guess changes have been made since we are no longer involved in the work and seeing how the funds are distributed. So even as things have come up related to the college too It is a bit difficult to hear, but what can we do. 

On a happy note we had Pastor Nsangu and his whole family over for lunch yesterday. 

(Pastor of the “chicken church”) He and James stay in contact and he is always thanking James for his ministry to him and his church. Every time we go to their church I never get to spend time with his wife because she is always busy, so we told them last time we were there we wanted to have their whole family over (we would help them with paying for transport) for lunch. Their whole family was 7 kids plus the parents so it was a great blessing to have them all and see such thankfulness they expressed just for sharing a meal with them. It really did make my day! 

Now if only we could all be thankful ALL the time...

I am looking forward to christmas this year and spending the day just our family with a nice big meal. Since we have internet this month we are already talking about looking up recipes, and what should we cook. Jackson has offered to make his fried apples which he does a great job with. Red and Green Apples he said, so it will be christmasy.

Then just maybe we will go swimming. Still hard to get used to sweating, swimming and hearing the christmas carols playing over the radio in the grocery store.  It's December!

Hand to Mouth

I wrote this about a month ago, then decided not to post in mostly because I didn't want to scare my parents, :) 

But its life and as I talked to my dad recently he was saying that even in the really rough times when you think its so long and hard, later you can look back at it and realize you got through it and it wasn't as bad as it seemed. 

Hand to Mouth Existence.

That’s where we are right now. I will say it has been humbling, stressful, frustrating, emotional, and a way for learning great patience. But beyond all these things it has made us able to understand and relate to people in a way we never have and we never would have been able to, had we not gone through this season of our lives.  And I shouldn’t say “gone through” because it is not finished. We are not through it yet. 

But the feeling of not knowing where your next meal is coming from, or your next tank of gas...well not even tank, your next 5 dollars of gas to get you to where you need, or your next 2 dollars of “talk time” to be able to make a phone call. 

Most everything here is pre paid. The electricity, your phone, your internet, etc. Yesterday I noticed we had about one hour of power left. And we had about 30 Kwacha. ($6). We bought enough power for the day, I delivered a batch of energy bars and then had enough money to buy flour, milk and potatoes at the store with $5 left over to buy power today. 

With the power its pretty standard I buy the whole months worth at a time, but last month was not able to, so I knew we were going to run short the last week in the pay period. This year both of our workers finished their 2 year contract and we did not renew them, so we had to pay out their benefits of a half years salary to each of them. Something we are still working on paying. 

It seems for everyone, there are always life things that come up unexpectedly and your “budget” doesn’t really fit the actual. But you take what you are making and try to pare down and work with it, etc. But when you pare down and pare down and have nothing left to pare down it can be very discouraging.

Sometimes I sell a cake and literally walk next door to the grocery store, take the $20 and start the math of what is absolutely essential and how can I use the amount I have.

And somewhere between the produce section and the baking aisle I miscount and end up at the register watching as they ring up the items waiting to tell them to stop right there.  And though this may be new to me, it is how the majority of people live, in fact I have seen it pretty much every time I am at the grocery store. (especially outside of America. You can’t live on credit. You can only buy with what you have. Novel idea eh?)

When an employee tells me I am sorry I couldn’t call you to report I am not coming to work, because I didn’t have talk time, well now I can relate. 

When they ask to help with transport money, I can relate.

When you have been eating spinach and onion as THE vegetables for the last 2 weeks because its all you have in your garden, I can relate. 

When I see others waiting until “month end” when they are paid, and they begin to file into the stores and into town for their shopping, I can relate. 

When I see others looking for money in different places, from people that owe them, I can relate. Whether it is waiting on the rental company that owes a reimbursement for work done on the house months ago, or collecting money from books sold, or collecting a downpayment for a cake, your mind goes to how can I cover this and who owes me.

When friends say they have had to look for school fees from relatives and friends to pay for their kids school, I can relate. 

To be completely honest, it has been tough. But when I think clearly and see how even in these challenging times, we have not ever once gone without what was absolutely essential to our basic needs, I know the Lord is teaching us and taking care of us. 

One morning all I could offer the kids for breakfast was ice cream, from a batch that didn’t turn out and was in the deep freezer. I had no milk, no eggs, no flour to make anything. They thought it was great, ICE CREAM ! Yeah!!  and I tried to make it fun but it was a bit bittersweet, in that I knew this is all I could come up with. 

We wanted to stay here in Zambia and are very glad we did. But that meant that after 14 years, it was a completely different change of careers and immediately. I continue to be thankful (when my heart is right!) and see how even when things are extremely tight, and making half of what we made before, the Lord is still providing for us. 

We have only been attending the new church we are at for about 2 months, and someone anonymously gave us $600 in an envelope. It made me cry, oh me of little faith. It came on the heels of a really bad week spiritually and emotionally for me which again re-iterates, God doesn’t look at what we have done and reward according to our works. It’s only because we are his children and He wants to bless us. It happened to be the very week our car insurance, road tax and fitness were all due and it pretty much exactly covered it. 

One thing I can say is I have much less of the attitude when others are struggling that “they just need to get it together” than I used to have. I am sure there’s still some there, but it’s a lot less.

As we look ahead we have realistic hope of making it more than this “hand to mouth.” With my new job, its potential of a partnership in the company, current quarterly commission and opportunities to roll my cake business into it, we can see ahead.

With James’s drive -hard working, do whatever it takes, do whatever needs to be done even if no one wants to do it, never one to sit around, never seen him lazy a day of his life- I know we can and will make it. And one day in the (hopefully) near future, we can be more financially settled. 

As we have seen over these last 4 years, so many lessons in life or things we learn are by experience and only by experience. And God chooses us to learn them that way so we can better relate to people and understand them. And not just so we can understand, but so that our heart can be moved to greater compassion and grace. 

...And I just checked our account this morning, the new pay period has begun and the money’s in the bank. Off to go get a full tank of fuel, electricity, and groceries. (Hubby’s orders...)